You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
