She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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