I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Please don't give away my fajitas
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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