she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
