margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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