You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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