Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
