I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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