I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
