did you get engaged???
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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