The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
