It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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