I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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