Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
