She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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