I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
