My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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