I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
