you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
