You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
