Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
so that wasnt chicken after all
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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