If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
