my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
