I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
worst night to have a conscience
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
