I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
