In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
