at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
