Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
