Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
