Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
