Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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