so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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