Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
