I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
