do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
