there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
