I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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