its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
