I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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