I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
