Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
