I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I need to align my fucking chakras
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize