no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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