Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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