come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It's rum buckets o'clock
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
