Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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