I molested 6 butterflies tonight
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
