He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
