I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize