Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
