she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize