the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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