I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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