You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
