All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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