Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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