Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
two words...techno handjob
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
