CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
