Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize