She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
