how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
