I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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