Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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