hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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