I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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