Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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