i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
