Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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