I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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