If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
