1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
